We get by with a little help from our friends

I was never a huge Beatles fan.  Too young to catch the first wave of the British Invasion and too old to be part of the resurgence.  I do know a great song when I hear one though, and they have more than their fair share for sure.  One that certainly tops my personal chart is “With a Little Help from My Friends”.  It's meant different things to me over the years as I have made it through different seasons in life.  I heard it on the radio today and it got me thinking about how the need for friendships stay the same but how drastically the friends themselves change as life plows forward.

Everyone needs a Barney Stinson now and then.

As a young man the song went along well with the trials, tribulations and team sports that fill high school life.  My group of friends in high school was a great bunch of kids.  I occasionally have lunch here or there with some of them and by the time the complimentary bowl of nacho chips are half gone you can close your eyes and swear we are all still 17.

In college the song took on new meaning as deeper friendships formed and the challenges got more…challenging.  The chance to choose your group of comrades from nearly 20,000 peers made it a unique experience indeed, especially for a kid from a town of less than a 2000 total population.  By my sophomore year in college I had formed some lifelong friendships with a group of guys who would have done anything for one another.  The memories made with that band of pirates... mountain biking, camping and bush diving our way through the late 90s are absolutely priceless.  (bush diving: the act, or dare I say, art, of ambushing an unsuspecting shrub or topiary by running and jumping into it, the more altitude the better) But like anything that burns bright, it can’t last forever.  I'm in touch with a few of the men from that group; all of us I am surprised to say have done pretty well.  Amazing what can be accomplished when mischievous energies are turned to a positive trajectory.

Once I became a full fledged adult though, friends seemed to be replaced by coworkers.  Adventures seemed to be replaced by home improvement projects. My happy little band of adrenaline junkies were replaced by church small group couples.  Not that it was a bad trade off, just a difference in the type of friendships.  My need for good, trusted, unconditional friendship remained, but it became a great deal more difficult to feed that need as kids came into the picture.  

It became painfully apparent once I became a parent that late night conversations about how we were going to change the world would be replaced by late night diaper changes and feedings.  Laughing until you spit things out of your nose was replaced by getting spit up on and then trying to find a reason to laugh.  Again, I am not complaining, just noting the changes.   

The changes are drastic when you take the time to look back and reminisce a little. Now, as I split my brain between my wonderful family and rewarding career…I find myself getting back into the business of finding some good friends.  I realized not so long ago that I can look in places I hadn’t considered before.  I can look at my “network” of people I come in contact with through business.  I can get close to parents who have children of similar ages as my own.  I can actually be friends with neighbors and people around my community.  It is a challenge to let new memories replace the more “extreme” ones from seasons past, but I am finally realizing that they can actually coexist.  

I can still maintain a certain healthy level of mischievous energy…(it helps me keep up with my kids).  It helps to know also that other parents were once much more exciting than they are today.  I realize that when they see me, they too have a difficult time looking past the dark circles under my eyes and the peanut butter stain on my sleeve.  Maybe it takes a beer and some conversations over a grill, maybe a hike in the woods with the kids running ahead whacking one another with sticks, maybe sitting around a fire burning a marshmallow…but it can happen.  Cool people in their 30s DO exist…I have proof!  And if you think about it, we are all in an even more challenging and scary place in life than we were in the 80s in school or the 90s in college…we are parents of young kids for goodness’ sake…what could possible require more camaraderie and teamwork than that!?!

How do I feel by the end of the day
(Are you sad because you're on your own)
No, I get by with a little help from my friends,
Mmm, get high with a little help from my friends,
Mmm, gonna to try with a little help from my friends